Nothing says love quite like a man with a candy cup. The Lovers Candy Posing Pouch is a must have for any man looking to set the mood by having his woman laughing uncontrollably at how dumb he can look while naked. Luckily, one size fits most so everyone except Ron Jeremy can enjoy this g-string. The features of this product are too numerous to list, but let's highlight some of the best.1. It's made up of 330 candy pieces. The candy is fairly bland tasting but does seem to have a hint of vanilla flavoring. More impressively, each piece has a shellac coating that give the entire ensamble a brilliant luster reminiscent of the stain you would use on your porch.
2. It's a mere 840 calories. Even if you are dating a supermodel, she has no excuse for not eating it off you.
3. As impressive as it looks from the front, it is even more handsome from the rear. Now what woman could resist you in a Candy G-string that highlights the shapely contours of your ass? Unfortunately this side effect of this is that about 50 of the candy pieces may have some additional flavors that are not all that seductive.
4. While the picture on the box makes it seem to be seemless, it is actually a series of candy rows that when worn have a tendency to spread apart a bit giving a hint at what lies beneathe. This means that a little manscaping should probably be done prior to wearing unless the idea of hairy candy appeals to your lover. This is a posing pouch so the less movement, the better for all involved.
5. Allergy Alert: The product is made by a Chinese candy manufacturer so the pouch may contain nuts.
Flavometer Scorecard:
Originality: 23
Practicality: 22
Seductivity: 18
Digestivity: 22
Overall Score: 85
1 comment:
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